The Turtle and the Kicking Boy

Once upon a time there was a turtle that was an easily scared little fella. He would jump with fright at the slightest unforeseen noise and scream in terror. One day in a meadow that the turtle was sleeping in, a father and a very young son were enjoying the lovely weather and playing among the grass.  The young lad loved to kick anything and everyone. His favorite items were stones, sticks, and his father's shins. He was romping around the meadow, kicking things in his path and being as happy as can be.  The turtle, asleep among some rocks that were being warmed by the sun, did not hear the boy until he screamed and kick the rock next to which the turtle was spooning. The turtle jumped high into the air with fright and grabbed onto the first thing his little turtle claws could cling to: the fathers shin.  The father was confused, but seeing his son running full speed at him with a look of pure glee on his face took all his attention. The little boy took a big wind up and kicked his father hard in the shin where the little turtle was still clinging. The father, having closed his eyes and bracing himself for impact, felt nothing. This is how shin guards were invented. The end.